Reflections on a Traumatic Birth

I shared Joshua’s birth story with y’all and got such a great response.  I have been putting off telling the story of my first two births for some time now, and finally had a reason to do it.  Gabrielle over at Birth Beyond Bias asked for stories of traumatic births and I decided it was finally time to write everything down.  She featured my story on her blog, and I would really love to share it here as well!  I hope you will go over to Birth Beyond Bias and read more…she has some wonderful information and great stories!


Caleb’s Birth

With my first baby, I wanted a natural birth.  I knew nothing about modern birth in America, only that I felt strongly that God created women to birth babies, and that if women had been doing this for thousands of years without medication, then so could I. I was met with opposition from my OB, who gave me all the typical excuses as to why natural birth was not a good idea.  Some of the things he told me were:

  • the baby will be too big
  • it’s your first pregnancy, you could go so fast that you have the baby on the side of the road if you go into labor on your own
  • if you want to avoid a C-section, we really need to induce early because he’s going to be over 10 pounds (I had been adamantly against having a C-section, and I feel like this was a huge play on my emotions, even though now I know that inducing gives me a 1 in 3 chance of having a C-section)
  • induction is perfectly safe, I induce 95% of my patients (his response to me asking about the risks associated with pitocin; also, I should have noticed that red flag when he said he induces 95% of his patients, but I didn’t know any better).

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Living With Less

There was a time when I had an idea of what the American Dream looked like for me.  It involved a huge, five-bedroom house, and eventually an upgrade to an even bigger one with all the amenities you could ask for.  Let me tell you this, folks: I’ve had a huge paradigm shift.  Lately I’ve been pondering what my family really needs versus what are simply desires.  We know that God provides us our daily bread, but not necessarily the steak and potatoes.  He sustains us.  He gives us plenty.  That’s not to say He may not bless us with more, because He certainly might, but are we finding joy in what He has already given to us?  This was a moment of epiphany for me.  Why was I not content with what God has already given me?  If I wasn’t being a good steward of this home He provided, how in the world would I expect He would entrust me with more?  Like the parable of the talents (Matthew 25:14-30), I knew that I was squandering what I had been given.

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